Omission

They say death is another part of life
But I find it everyday next to me
in a chamber in my head
asking me what today shall be
is it life or is it death
as I ignore its tries
to take over my mind
blurring my vision
with words slurring
as I fall into submission
I envision my end and close it off
by omission
Take a step back
And watch it control my inhibition
Perpetually stuck in hesitation
So caught between choices
There's no room for aspiration
No development or growth
Just straight up
Asphyxiation
Wrapped around my throat
Subtle suffocation
Without any indication
Of a temporary nature
Because four years to me
Feels pretty permanent
Add to that four
Forgotten more
And I hope you understand
When I talk about an end
That I am not joking here my friend
But honesty is what's expected
Something I feel has been neglected
Or perhaps just undetected
Gotten lost by the distracted
Blinded eyes of those connected
As I have always kept them
Out of reach of what's inside
With lies like: 'its nothing really,
I'm really fine'
Until no longer I could defy
The demons lurking in my mind
Corrupting everything I tried
Until finally
My brain got fried
And I ended up
In a mental institution
To recover from the sickness
That shook my constitution
Just a baby step
in the right direction
So that one day I might be
Smiling at my own reflection
Knowing its just me inside
And not death
Blocking out the life.